The Neverending Rebound

Carrie Fisher had just died,

which should have been an entirely different kind of tragic event, if it wasn’t overshadowed by the departure of a Boyfriend I had been totally engulfed by for the past two years.

I’d met him on Grindr. The Gay-dating app that allows us Gays to gaze across profiles of every other of their kind within a three-mile radius… (Like I need to explain Grindr- pffft!)

Funnily enough, I had decided to download it to my phone, because I had been in a state of mourning & despair due to the end of an entirely different relationship before this one.

And I’ll humiliate myself a little further here, to also add that this ugly relationship that led me to ‘Grind’ was born out of a rebound from, yes, another relationship even before that. My marriage had broken down & I was left mentally, physically & financially in the deepest of poo. OH the shame of thinking i was a serial monogamist, when it was more liekly that I couldn’t bare to face life ever having to actually love & take care of myself.

For the majority of my dating life, I’ve found myself to be more commonly known as a complete doormat. I found myself from the age of 15, jumping from Terrible relationship, to terrible relatiuonship; always seeking out & attracting people, more emotionally fucked up than I was, & in the pure hope…